What is it about these grey skies, deep chills & weary mountains that makes it so damn awkward to sit in stillness with a sense of contentment? This constant, rampaging uneasiness, in which the origin is unknown, leaves me left with wonders. Wonder of why alone is so logically okay & so emotionally disheartening. And what ‘alone’ could ever possibly mean. But knowing in my bones, in my soul, that it’s what I need. More than the void together has filled. Starting to see this karmic pattern, this karmic lesson with curious eyes. Letting this uneasiness, this simple sorrow to move me to be, to feel deeper, with more truth. During this time where the ‘business’ has settled just enough to feel slightly scattered & stoked, I get to learn.
It’s this time when my mind feels so clear that it’s hard to be with myself, only to escape to the most vivant lucid dreams that send me manifesting, ranting and saving all through the night. It’s this time that feels like I’m starting to create something for myself, in which I feel proud of the energy I’ve spent. It’s this time where the endless options feel heavily daunting, but oh-so graspable. It’s this time when I feel I might just manifest magically. It’s this time where I feel so thankful for the karmic lessons that have blinded my narrow mind, giving me the strength to communicate the shit out of my sorrows and wonders. It’s this time when magical ladies come into my life and bring me back to the raw awe of our breath. It’s this time when I’m so thankful to call home a beautiful yoga studio, but I can’t wait to leave here for the sake of big mountains and snow. It’s this time when I know exactly what I want, but I get to battle with patience until it’s what I need. It’s this time that I finally write again.